Clarity (Day 44)

Have you ever had that sudden moment of awareness (*snap*) and realize you haven’t been paying attention all day?

You realize that your day has been predominantly on auto-pilot until this one moment. You take a deep breath. You look around and notice things for seemingly the first time.

I felt this a few days ago. I was taking my normal walk home and I inexplicably stopped. I became intimately aware of this moment in time. I looked around. I heard the rustle of the trees. They had always been there, I was just been busy doing other things. The scrape of car tires, the people ambling by. The world was alive.

I filed a little memory bookmark into my life at that moment. It’s pretty amazing where I’ve ended up. I am 27 years old and have already lived so many different lives. I was a student one year ago, lived in San Diego four years ago, and I was a son in my parent’s home less than a decade ago. If you asked me where I’d be two years ago, I would never have guessed I would be a developer in San Francisco. And still life marches on.

Perspective

Moments like these let me take a step back from the busybody life I have every day and reconnect my day to what actually matters to me. It is easy to get lost in the optimized routine of everyday life and just mindlessly do the next thing, but it is much more meaningful and effective to take a step back and connect my routine to my goals.

I’m not just lifting weights at 7 PM because 7 PM is lifting time. I am lifting because I want to feel stronger in my pick-up basketball games (and I want to feel good in a dress shirt :)). I am not writing to this blog post because it’s in my schedule every day. I write to it because…

1. I want to understand what I really think and feel about ideas.
2. I want to explore my passion in games and technology.
3. I want to share a story of growth day-by-day.

Periodically taking a step back and reconnecting with why I’m doing the things I do daily gives me an emotional reason to stay the course and be happier doing it.

Takeaway

I admit, there were many times I sat here at this keyboard without these things in mind. I was here out of sense of duty. Many days, I just wanted to knock a post out to keep the streak going.

I would argue those were the posts that touched people the least. They pleased me the least. The greatest works of the world have always been labors of love. There just isn’t enough incentive otherwise.

As much as I can, I want my motives behind my actions to be something I truly care about. Then I know I will try my hardest at it.

And I believe there is always a good reason behind all of my actions. I eat healthy because I want to feel athletic. I work hard because I want to be proud of my completed project. I spend time with my friends because I want to be a positive influence on those around me. I want more of my life to be governed by these goals.

I hope the next time I don’t feel motivated to write here, I will close my eyes, take a deep breath and reconnect with the reasons why I wanted to blog in the first place. And then, post with those goals in mind.

Time: 1:01:04

Git Commit

Learned:

• Tutorial day 🙂
• Learned mechanics around platformer death (hp and falling) and respawn
• Added a neat little muzzle flash to the gun

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