I’ve been away from this blog for a while for a number of reasons. The most draining reason was lack of motivation.
In retrospect, I can divide my hangups into two statements.
I was thinking too short-term when it came to my goals and dreams. If you don’t dream far ahead enough into the future when you work on a project, if you only look at what changes today and what comes tomorrow, all you see is work. Piles and piles of work. You lose sight of the payoff.
You have to look into the future at some tantalizing goal and imagine how cool it would be if the world had that in it. I recently looked ahead, and this blog looks cool again. This blog will be a completed video game in the making, chronicled day-by-day. Awesome.
I was overthinking life. I let myself generally start thinking about life in terms of tradeoffs with thoughts about how my responsibilities should keep rising and I have to think hard about what I need to prune out and start focusing on the “important” things. I should be choosing the “practical” option and not the ones I love.
I was able to find motivation again after I took a step back and thought about the absurdity of that thinking.
This is my life, and life is one big MMO. I am free to pursue whatever I want. I don’t have to pursue what everyone else is pursuing. As long as I can pay my bills and I am pursuing something I love, I am fine.
With the right perspective and freedom from outside pressures, I have motivation and love for what I am pursuing once again. It feels amazing. That being said, I have decided I am going to put this project on hold for a while as I pursue another idea with a friend.
If I start feeling like I can focus on work, project, and this blog, then I will, but I’d like to completely immerse myself into the others. So for now, this will have to wait. Until then. 🙂